I can’t find my pinkie
What’s it like to deal with hand paralysis?
This morning, I can’t find my little pinkie in my brain’s map of location. Furthermore, I can’t find my four toes (the big toe is hard to miss).
Usually, it comes after an exorbitant workout. Yesterday, my pinkie could flex and let go of the medium size balls. (Think of a tennis ball or a soft baseball).
Over and over, I picked up the balls and released them into a net. Plus, I could manipulate small balls, playing cards, and dominoes.
Why can’t I follow that the next day?
Maybe my affected pinkie’s muscle groups are tired.
Maybe my brain’s neurotransmitters are spent.
Think of it like you are at a rave; dance until you can dance no more.
My anxious persona gets worried throughout the day and evening: “Why don’t you shake your pinkie? Why doesn’t it move? Aaaaah!”
I gently quiet my anxious persona and willingly direct my anxious persona to a new subject: “Why don’t the Chinese foam manufacturers write back?”
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